Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars (Spoilers and Speculation)

Having watched "The Waters of Mars" on Sunday, it's been an interesting couple of days catching up with various people's opinions, theories and tweets about the special Doctor Who episode.

So what did I make of it?

Frankly, I spent the first 20 minutes freaked out by the image of the"water possessed" crew members. I was transported back to the old days of Doctor Who... the days as a child when you spent a great deal of time watching the show from behind a sofa. I must confess that I was quite literally watching those freaky people through my fingers... until I'd "adjusted".

I'm quite a sensitive soul really... when Obi Wan Kenobi died in Star Wars, I was so freaked out I couldn't watch it... I think that must have been the case until I was er... 12.

The story was set on the 21st November 2059... an auspicious date in the calendar for me (God willing, I shall be celebrating my 85th birthday).

It was good to see that Shane from 1980's Neighbours found himself a new job some time in the distant future. Is Doctor Who becoming a refuge for Aussie soap stars in the same way that The Bill has become one for ex British soap stars?

I did feel that the pacing in the first half was off... and it seemed to drag a little. However in the last 20 minutes as the episode reached it's climax, it more than made up for this... it was literally as if a switch had been flipped and the script was running on a burst of nitrous oxide.

It was a very intriguing end and it has left my friends a little divided. Half of them feel that they didn't like it because of the dark way The Doctor was being portrayed. The rest of them (and I am in this camp), thought that it was fantastic.

I think it is important to realise that the Doctor is not a black and white character... he is flawed, just like everybody else. He has a streak of darkness that runs subtly through his valour and nobility. I think some times people are a bit too idealistic and like to sweep that under the carpet.

In his tenth incarnation alone we've seen some pretty intense moments of anger. He nearly blew the head off his daughter's killer... OK so he held fast and described himself as "a man who never would", but you really got the impression from the way David Tennant played that scene (particularly in his eyes), that there was only a thin veil between that pledge and the alternative.

Then lets not forget the way that he dealt with The Family of Blood. He ran away as an act of kindness... but then when cornered he unleashed the fury of a Timelord by forcing his enemies to eternally endure their own personalized Hell. If you look at the way he dealt with them... it's not unlike the way the Greek gods dealt with their enemies.

And that is where the Doctor has ended up at the end of The Waters of Mars... playing the part of God. The concluding scene doesn't show quite the full intensity of the Doctor's emotions (as seen in the few minutes prior to it), but it drives the point home well enough I think:

The Timelord victorious is a created being claiming mastery of the created order. Adelaide Brooke was right in her assertion... it's not right.

It's nor right, not so much for the things that one in that position might do (even a good character like the Doctor), but more for what you'd inevitably become in the process of doing those things.

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

There's a moment when the Doctor realises he's pushed the boat out too far. As he turns, he hears Adelaide's suicidal gunshot (an odd decision for a character to make - was it driven by her sense of needing to restore what she perceived as the natural order of events... or out of spite at the Doctor's arrogance in trying to change them? Or perhaps it was both). He turns once more and senses the presence of Ood Sigma. It is then that he has a sudden flash of remorse for his rash action... even the TARDIS picks up on it as it mournfully tolls the Cloister Bell.

However, it is a Rubicon moment. The Doctor has resolved to cross the line (from the character exposition it seems clear he is quite literally Hell bent on bringing Gallifrey back from the abyss); having stepped into the waters... he knows full well that the die is cast...

... or to borrow a line from another science fiction franchise "the avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote".

Whenever someone rises up to assume the part of God... be that in fiction or fact, they inevitably find that there is a price to pay... and quite often that price is very high indeed.

Here is a brief trailer for the final Tennant double-bill, Doctor Who: The End of Time:

It seems way too obvious that The Master is the would be assassin who will knock four times. Look at who the Doctor is talking to the most in that clip. I think the tenth Doctor's killer is going to come out of left field. I think that Wilfred Mott is going to be put in a terrible position. I think the Doctor is going to go momentarily off the rails (some people have speculated on the influence of the Valeyard) and inadvertently do something that endangers the existence of Earth. I'm hedging my bets that this might have something to do with an attempt to recover Gallifrey (principally because we have Timothy Dalton making an appearance playing yet another Timelord). It does seem as if Russell T Davies is restoring a status quo so that his successor, Stephen Moffat has a clear run to do what he wants with the Whoniverse.

I think the Master is a big bluff. I think that Wilfred Mott with heavy heart and deep regret, his eyes full of tears... is going to be the one to pull the trigger (or whatever the fatal mechanism may be).

Whatever happens, I think that it's going to be epic.

Tune in to BBC 1's Children in Need on Friday to see a further clip of Doctor Who: The End of Time.

Remembering...

It can't (or at least it shouldn't) have escaped your attention that November devotes a reasonable amount of time to acts of remembrance:

There is Bonfire Night:

"Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot..."

Then we have Remembrance Sunday and the armistice; commemorating the sacrifices of those who sacrifice themselves to protect our way of life.

In the United States, there is the festival of Thanksgiving, where time is set aside to recall how the initial English colonists were saved by the kindness of the native tribes from certain death during their first bitter winter in the Americas.

So, naturally with these in mind, particularly Remembrance Sunday, I've been thinking a lot about the importance of remembering things.

More specifically, I've been asking myself which part of remembering is important to us as individuals?

Human beings are sentimental creatures. We paint, we sculpt, we write, we mark, we build and we invent rituals both simplistic and elaborate... all to preserve the memory of things that are important to us.

It's a great strength, but it can just easily be one of our greatest weaknesses.

What do I mean by this?

I will explain but first let me tell you a little story about an oak tree:

It grew local to where I live and was known as the Elephant Oak/Elephant Tree. It took it's name from the unique shape that the roots had formed above ground. It really did look like an elephant. Many generations of children played beneath the bows of that tree, or scaled it's trunk... but eventually, time moved on and the land the tree occupied, was needed to help develop Alcester's new bypass and that the tree would need to be felled.

It was decided that the memory of the tree needed to be preserved and so the local authority decided to remove and varnish a section of trunk... the tree was felled and the trunk segment now sits to this day on top of the bypass bridge nearby to where it once stood.

The reason I told you this story is that the act of preservation is a disgrace to the memory of the tree. If you passed by today, you wouldn't know what the significance of the random wooden object was. It doesn't even look like an elephant anymore... not really. The point I am trying to illustrate is that in seeking to preserve something material of the tree... the very reason the tree was special... has been lost.

This is a microcosm of much larger things.

Earlier in the year, when I travelled to Israel and saw the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, my heart sank... the whole place is encased in shrines and the reason that place is special becomes lost in the regalia (and for that matter, the hysteria). It's quite reassuring that there's a place just down the road that, even if it's claim to historicity is slightly more tenuous, seeks to preserve the memory of what happened in the original Holy Week in a manner that helps people contemplate those events and their relevance both universal and personal.

I was reminded of this several weeks ago when I got caught up in a television debate to do with the celebration of religious festivals being covered on television. The Bishop of Lichfield bless him, argued that Christmas was THE key festival of the year.

I nearly choked on my Shreddies.

As a Christian I believe that Easter is far more important (something I was told once as a boy by Mr Bowen... and knew in my heart was true as soon as I heard it). Christmas is merely the wrapping paper... Easter is the present. Without the need for Easter... there would have been no cause for Christmas. In this instance I can categorically state that the chicken most definitely came before the egg!

You see the danger is, that we can get so caught up in celebrating or remembering an event... that we actually forget what the event commemorates and it becomes meaningless and disrespectful.

In the same debate, a lady vicar spoke of people being disenfranchised with religion.

Do you know something? I thought her choice of words was very interesting and unintentionally ironic.

Why?

Because people do see religion as a franchise... a marketing brand, a spiritual business empire... and they dismiss it without hesitating even for just one moment to dig below the surface and see what is really there.

It's not even with the big festivals either. Sometimes the very way that worship is organised seems to hinder the act of genuine worship itself. We can become so wrapped up in how we do something... that we neglect the God who we worship.

At this time of year, I think a lot about the mantra of the Poppy Appeal:

"Remember the dead, but don't forget the living".

I find that as much as that statement is true about war veterans and serving soldiers, it is equally true about tradition. If we benefit from a certain type of worship, that's great... but we must not forget the living God who inspires us to worship, if it was not for Him... those words and/or tunes would be lifeless and their true meaning lost.

In C.S Lewis' The Last Battle, there is a memorable scene where a group of dwarves are in the presence of Aslan himself... and on the verge of being in the new Narnia... but they sadly are left behind because they are hard hearted... and all that they can see is the inside of a dank stable... and not the wondrous truth that is actually all around them. Being unable to accept the utopian reality presented and freely offered to them, they settle for the dystopian reality they have grown accustomed to.

My heart breaks when I think that the same is true for many today... either through their own unbelief or through a misrepresentation of the Gospel message, there are people in the world today who are settling for the dirty stable when the treasures of heaven are just right in front of them... waiting for their acceptance.

There is gold in them there hills. It's true... I've found it... OK so I've only got a few nuggets... but I'm hungry for more... and the great thing about the treasure to be found in a relationship with God is something that Jesus pointed out:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. "

Matthew 6:19-21

The treasure God gives is real... it is imperishable and it is not something that can be stolen away from you.

It's not even something that is intangible that awaits us at the end of time. When God pours out his Spirit, the lost are found, the prisoners are set free, the eyes of the blind are opened, the lame walk and the dead are raised.

I believe it.

But I also believe that many of us who proclaim the Gospel are wary of acknowledging it 's most awesome power to transform lives on a very supernatural level because of our own fears and insecurities.

We are scared to step out of the boat for fear that we will sink and be shown up for charlatans.

We are scared to step out of the boat because if we succeed they will think we are nutjobs.

So all too often the temptation is there to provide people with a spiritual crutch rather than the ability to walk in the light of Christ.

... and i believe they are aware of it.

We need to offer people real food, real treasure.... and that requires us to be transformed first.

There is an old story about the Pope and Thomas Aquinas:

As he was showing Thomas as the glories of the Vatican, the Pope remarked: "We cannot say with Peter of old, silver and gold have I none" Thomas replies: "Nor can we say, "Such as I give to thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk."

They were both quoting from the book of Acts. One has to wonder if the two viewpoints are interconnected... after all Jesus did say that we cannot serve two masters. The more we focus on money, the harder it becomes to focus on God.

In the Old Testament book of Malachi, God throws down a challenge to his people who have been holding back on him. He urges them to bring the full amount of their tithing into the Temple. This is what he says:

"Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

It's like that big scene in Casino Royale. James Bond is playing for big stakes and the only way he can win, is to go all in and risk losing it all. He does so and cleans everybody out.

The promises of God are even greater.... but they require an even greater risk. Lets face it though, the stakes are higher so why shouldn't that be the case with the risk? The kingdom of God can quite literally transform people's lives in this world and the next. The trouble is, to get to the good stuff you have to be prepared to lay it all on the line for God. Let's not deceive ourselves though - the things we play with... money, feelings, relationships, reputation. - they aren't truly ours anyway.

So the question I guess is: when God calls on us to place our poker chips on the table... are we prepared to go all in?

I just want to conclude with what I believe were Christ's words with regard to the matter:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

Mark 8:34-37

Topsy Turvy

This week's been a strange one to say the least.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I feel like I've been lugging around a mountain full of Kryptonite based on my own decisions and commitments.

It became intolerably heavy and I was really struggling with it... but just as I came to cracking point, God enabled someone to understand my position exactly; they know who they are and they have my eternal gratitude for their perception and kindness.

So one minute I'm nosediving and the next, I'm levelling off and have strength for the road ahead once more.

Actually come to think there's a verse in "For All the Saints" (a song which we didn't sing around All Saints Day this year), I've been thinking about it over the past few days:

And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
and hearts are brave again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

When you think that this weekend marks the Festival of Remembrance, that takes on extra meaning. How weary must our nation's soldiers feel... bearing the heavy burden of a war they did not ask for and in many ways are not thanked for. How important to them is the need to hear the songs of victory and spiritual homecoming... that we so often take for granted.

On the slim chance that any servicemen reading this, you are not alone... and when we hear the stories of sacrifice that seem to come in so frequently... please know that you are not far from our thoughts and prayers.

Though my blog post is not about that, I felt it would be crass and insensitive not to make that point.

Going back to the hymn verse, I feel that it's something we all need to experience. In my blog post "Listen...", I referenced Elijah's encounter with God at Horeb.

However before that encounter, Elijah had felt despondent and unable to carry on. It took a visit from an angel of the Lord to give him the physical and spiritual nourishment he needed in order to continue on his journey.

God knows that sometimes we let ourselves get run into the ground (even and sometimes especially in his service).

He always provides the strength we need to continue.

The next part of my week that somewhat came out of the blue, was the revelation that a student I went to college with years ago, was and is a Christian (although during our shared time at college, she was going through a rebellious phase).

I'd always been quite open about my beliefs at college and aside from my friendship with Dom (a friend who I'd known since school), I'd always assumed I'd been alone on that front.

How do you react when you learn something like that?

Well, one worldly way of looking at it, would be to turn inwardly... be selfish and feel bitter - "all those times when I was getting knocked for my faith... where were you?"

However that is not the Godly way to look at it. In truth I take no umbrage and am not in the remotest sense or slightest way upset.

I am merely overcome with deep joy, that someone I had known as a colleague for a short time is actually a fellow worker and sister in Christ.

In a topsy turvy week, you can choose how to look at things... on this occasion I think I chose wisely.

Later in the week I lost my keys... and spent a whole 24 hours moping about the fact and a further 24 hours without personal transport.

I searched everywhere around the office and retraced my steps to no avail. I visited the police station to report them missing but held little hope because last time something like this happened, nobody was honest enough to hand them in (I am assured by the people around me that the latter scenario is the norm.... a fact I truly struggle to comprehend).

I set the wheels in motion to get myself a new car key as over a day had passed and I was getting fed up of relying on the inefficiency of regional public transport. I did however have this nagging gut feeling that they keys would show up... and I should have trusted my instinct, because when I got home after the second day... there was a message on the phone advising me of the safe return of my keys.

In a topsy turvy week you can choose how to look at things... on that occasion I think I chose poorly.

All in all a very up and down week. I am just thankful to God and the friends I have, that I have been able to navigate my way through it.

A Burden of Kryptonite

Sometimes in life, you find that the weight of your decisions becomes very tangible.

This is never more true than when you make a decision that goes against the grain of everything within you. In light of recent events I've certainly been feeling this in quite a profound and very personal way.

I keep thinking of this scene from Superman Returns:

That's what it feels like to me, anyway.

Actually that sums it up pretty well... Kryptonite if you recall, is made up of the remains of Superman's homeworld, Krypton... and exposure to it is harmful to him. When Superman came to Earth, he gained powerful abilities, a destiny and a life beyond the imaginations of mortal men.

Thinking about that, isn't it exactly the same in the Christian journey?

We begin our lives, like everyone else... born into a doomed world. However we are saved... not by a rocket ship, but by the grace of God granted to us through the willing sacrifice of his Son, Jesus:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit."

Romans 8:1-4

He took the punishment of a dying world onto his shoulders and gave us the opportunity to change our destiny. We could choose to remain on our dying world... or find new abundant life in the kind of life the Father had originally planned for us:

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

Romans 8:5-8

Jesus said that he came that we might have life and have it in abundance... live it to the full... to remain in disobedience, is to remain on Krypton... and we know what that leads to...

Nevertheless, as the apostle Paul observed, even if we claim the salvation on offer to us and cross over from life to death, we are still broken people. Just as in the DC universe, fragments of Krypton made it to Earth and harm Superman when he comes near to it... when we come close to the remnants of our sinful nature, it also has a nasty effect:

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

Romans 7:14-25

Basically if we go near the sinful nature, we come under it's influence... but it's not always as straightforward as you might think it seems. As all Superman aficionados are aware, Kryptonite does not come in a single flavour. Sure, green makes Superman sick and can kill him, but there are other forms that prove harmful in other ways. In the same way as Christians, the sinful nature tries to harm us in different ways. Sometimes a wrong choice in life might not necessarily be an "evil" one, it's just that it's not a beneficial one. In other words we can make choices that... whilst not overtly harmful, are disobedient to God's perfect will for our lives.

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Or perhaps we get ourselves into situations where the power and authority God grants in ministry to us... are neutralised by our behaviour or need to conform to the peer pressure around us.

As I said, it's not just a simple matter of being outright "naughty".

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2

We need to take a good long hard look at our lives and start yanking the Kryptonite out of it... and that's what my current struggle surrounds. I may not be outright rebellious, but I'm certainly prone to my fair share of disobedience... and my struggle concerns me putting God first in an area of my life in which I too often have got carried away.

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

Luke 9:23-25

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:7-11

So I find myself lofting a huge chunk of my own Kryptonite out of my life and deep into space, it is a heavy burden... but it must be done. Someone might say that, if it's so heavy... why isn't God helping?

Ahhh but there it is, God is helping... without his strength it would be impossible to even lift that burden.

Remember that Jesus Christ himself suffered when he was tempted... we see a glimpse of this in the Gospels... but the most crucial temptation he went through, was that of being in the Garden of Gethsemane... and wanting the cup (the burden of having to suffer for our sins), to pass.

There are times when we all want the cup to pass but the book of Hebrews again offers us this advice:

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:2-3

Why should we do this? Well earlier in the book, we are told just why the temptations that Jesus suffered, matter so much to us today:

Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 2:18

The difference between the weight we carry as Christians and the weight we bore before coming to salvation is as fundamentally different as the difference a diver would notice between a life giving aqualung on his back as opposed to the millstone tied around his ankle.

That is what Jesus meant when he told us:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

The weight that Christ gives us to bear brings life... if we choose to struggle on alone with the weight the world gives us, we sink to the ocean floor and die.

Finally we can be sure that our struggle is not futile. The battle is long and fierce... but in the end if we trust in God, we will triumph. This goes for everything... whether we are talking the major conflicts that shape our final destiny, or the daily battles that shape who we are and discipline us in order that we can claim what God has promised us in our temporal lives for:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:28-31

May God grant you victory in whatever struggles you face today.

Blessings

N

Listen...

Over the past couple of days I've been thinking a lot about how unspoken things sometimes resonate with us and speak to us on another level.

I recall hearing on a documentary once, that the Reverend W Awdry gained inspiration for Thomas the Tank Engine by listening to two steam engines travelling uphill along a railway line. One of them, a slow lumbering giant was making a slow rhythmic with it's steam... "I can't make it... I can't make it". At the same time, a smaller more nimble engine caught up to it and started to pass by with a quicker sound "yesyoucanyesyoucanyesyoucan!"

You can almost here the sounds in your head now... can't you? Admit it.

The reason I've been thinking about this is because I was recently listening to a version of one of the main songs from the soundtrack to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (In Time by Robbie Robb). It's a song I like listening to because it reminds me that good things (whether that be in this world or the next), will eventually come to those who are prepared to wait and trust in God... and it's a useful and warm reminder when the journey seems long and hard.

I bought the soundtrack to the film some time ago but was a little disappointed with the version on the CD... it seemed to lack something. I hadn't noticed, but the film version differs in that it has an electric guitar playing a solo backing track (by Stevie Salas) at the same time.

I only discovered this by chance, when browsing YouTube. A talented guitarist by the name of Marcus Wright had been motivated by a friend to painstakingly recreate the riffs and it is so much better with them restored.

Here is the song:

With merely the words it sounds like someone is merely singing to themselves and their companion about how things will improve... but the guitar work adds a hidden voice an unseen one that speaks to me of reassurance, providence and faithfulness.

Elijah had a similar experience on Mount Horeb (although sadly, I don't think God played guitar).

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

1 Kings 19:11-13

God doesn't always speak to us through the obvious and explosive... often he is right there with us whispering away through the subtle things we encounter and observe.

I find these experiences far more personal, but in order to be able to appreciate them, I need to listen carefully.

I wonder if you've had similar experiences along these lines.

I'll finish up with one last example... Elgar's Nimrod. It's normally only reserved for times of national tragedy... what a sad waste! It's not actually about sadness, Elgar wrote it in honour of his best friend, Augustus J Jaeger in an effort to capture his nobility.

Whenever I hear it, it speaks to me a of a warm, ever growing brooding divine affection from God above, for the listener below.

How can I hear a tune as beautiful and as full of life as that... and attribute it to grief and mourning?

Anyway I shall let Elgar and God speak for themselves:

For The Record...

I just want to say... even need to say perhaps, that what I wrote the other day...

You have no idea how hard it was to type that and nobody really knows the burden which it causes me to carry... which I don't feel able to share here and not even even in the Inner Sanctum.

As I said before... context is everything.

A Commitment

A few weeks ago I started to make a few realisations about myself. There were certain things that I lacked (and still lack) in my life, that I was clinging to much too strongly.

I remember earlier in the year, perhaps it was even earlier than that... feeling burdened to take the path of Isaac. Isaac if you recall was the "quiet man" of the patriarchs... the biggest event in his adult life was his marriage to Rebekah... and even then, he didn't play a proactive part in the story... he was meditating in a field while Abraham's servant was doing all the hard work.

It's been true that up until recently I had been hankering after relationships like a dog chasing cars and by observing emotional similarities in other people I am close to, I realised how dangerous a thing love can be if it grows out of context.

In the past when I have fallen in love, I have fallen fast... and I have fallen deep and it has so consumed my attention that everything else... even the important things, faded into the background. the trouble with falling that fast and falling that deep, is that you also fall hard... and when you hit rock bottom... it blinking well hurts.

I recalled a time when a friend of mine gave up a relationship he was in because he felt that he "loved the other person" too much at the expense of his relationship with God... ergo, he believed his relationship to be idolatrous. I always respected him for that... always.

The wisdom of the world would tell him he would be crazy for thinking such a thing. "When you have something that precious, you never let go", they would say. But you see he was absolutely correct.

Context is everything.

If you love something so much that it blinds or at least obscures you to everything else around you... then it is idolatrous and really, if you are honest deep down... it is not love at all, it is something else...

...infatuation.

I think that in the past when I've liked a girl... it's definitely fallen into that category... even when I felt God telling me that I was to walk the way of Isaac... I just took that to mean "wait until I bring someone along and then pounce". However in hindsight, I don't think that was ever the intention.

So we come to a few weeks ago and the commitment I came to.

Essentially I've decided to go full tilt Isaac. That is to say that I'm entirely putting that area of my life on the back burner. I'm allowed to like people of course, but I'm not allowing myself to actively pursue them. That's God's turf. So either God sends someone my way or I stay out of action until I get some kind of personal message from God (I don't know... perhaps stone tablets), but either way it's not my focus anymore.

It means accepting that this could be it... the end of the line (as much as I of course don't want it to be and indeed have faith that it won't be). However, I have to make this sacrifice in order to prove to God that the idea of love and romance is not more important to me than him.

This is the point where all worldly friends and foe alike will in all probability burst out laughing and scurry away sending my name and address to the Darwin Awards... for attempting to ensure the extinction of my own genetic makeup.

Let them.

Whether or not I believe in Evolution (within the context of my belief in God) is besides the point. Whether or not I am prepared to trust my God is exactly the point.

Developments since walking this path have been... interesting to say the least. Needless to say, all secular girls who I have taken a shine to in the past have suddenly seemed to have universally had a eureka moment and have even started flirting with me... what's with that???

I'd be lying if I said things weren't in some ways awkward (there are some complicated issues... well they aren't complicated at all but... well never mind). However I'm finding I'm a lot closer to God at the moment, a great deal more energised and considerably braver when it comes to seeking out his will.

So there we have it evolutionary suicide or a leap of faith.... but it's been my decision nonetheless.

Normality

Recently I've been involved in a couple of discussions on the subject of normal behaviour.

Truth be told I have NEVER really considered myself normal. I developed this attitude towards myself (and indeed others), during my formative years. I think I was first inspired by observing an American spoof commercial where two men are standing in a busy street waiting to get opinions on the benefits of their product from passers-by; they claim to want to find out what the ordinary person on the street has to say about their product. As they are talking, the camera zooms out and we see that everyone in the street is betraying a streak of eccentricity. Some are walking funny, some are dressed funny, some are using strange modes of transport... but ALL of them are unique... and the ad men confess glibly that "they are still waiting for an ordinary person to come along".

Yes it's a silly advert, but it made a strong impression on me as a child... something evidenced by the fact I can still recall it to this very day.

You see to me, there is no such thing as an ordinary person. In fact, so convinced am I of this notion, that I find it distasteful when people try to claim the centre ground of normality for themselves.

I accept that there is a scope of what we would call "normal behaviour" in society... but I believe that is primarily about laying the ground rules for what is acceptable in terms of how we treat one another.

If you've read my older posts, you will know that I have always been wary of following the crowd. If I feel something is hyped too much and I'm not already into it, chances are I will be resistant to the idea of taking exposing myself to it.

It is not that I consider friendly encouragement and inspiration from peers as entirely a bad thing... i just think it is very important that we discover things for ourselves.

The things we care about, the causes, doctrines and principles we believe in... all of these we must claim as our own. We cannot walk along a path that others dictate - along that road lies ruin.

So rather than seeing the vast majority of the human collective as "normal" or "ordinary", I much prefer to look at each individual and celebrate them as extraordinary.

Nobody occupies the same point in space and time as you, nobody will have quite the same effect on the people around you, as you will. Nobody else has been given the words you have been given to say, nobody else will feel quite the same about the people around you, as you will.

You are unique... and you should not hide this gift, nor shun the blessings and yes, even responsibilities that come with it. Nobody could fill your shoes.

You ARE unique... but before you let that go to your head... just remember, so is everybody else!

It's not Christmas yet, so I'll refrain from quoting It's A Wonderful Life. However the sentiments expressed in that film are absolutely true.

Another good illustration is the following clip from Dead Poet's Society:

I don't want to slavishly conform to the expectations set on me by others... in some cases , I want to walk in the way that is right for me. Sometimes that will mean I agree with the expectations laid before me, other times it means I'll throw them utterly out the window.

To conclude though, to live an extraordinary life, I believe there is one person and one person only, who is worthy of emulation - Jesus Christ:

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Philippians 2:1-11

I really do believe that sums up the debate perfectly. If we are to truly serve Christ as unique individuals, we should not overly covet a popular position at the very centre of society. If everyone stayed near the middle, how would anyone ever be rescued from the edges?

So wherever you are in the diverse spectrum of human characteristics and interests, may God bless you an continue to strengthen you in your unique and extraordinary ministry to the other people around you in your everyday life.

N

Definition

I return as promised, to share with you the issue that has bothered me over the past couple of days.

In the past I have spoken of my concern that heresies such as gnosticism could gain in popularity and take root once more, during our lifetime.

It would appear that my concerns have proven justified.

Recently I have found myself taking a strong apologetic stance towards mainstream Christianity when dealing with recent Internet posts. It may seem on the surface that gnosticism is a hokey old heresy that went out with the dinosaurs... but I believe it holds the perfect deceit to entrap the people of this generation.

Gnosticism essentially believes that salvation is earned through the learning of secret knowledge. It holds that anything that is spiritual is good... and that anything that is physical is evil... a trap laid down to ensnare our souls. It rejects the notion of a physical resurrection and believe s that as our bodies are evil and only our souls are important... it does not matter what we do with our bodies. In fact it encourages sin, in order that a person may better understand the nature of sin.

All of which mainstream Christianity takes issue with.

Why do I think such an outdated heresy would be so popular in the modern world?

I believe that many people want an excuse for their actions, they want to do whatever they want, without having to face any comeuppance. Christianity teaches us that there is a comeuppance... but that Christ paid it once and for all and that however much we sin, unending grace is there for us... but having received such grace... we are to do our best to live in a way that is pleasing to God.

Gnosticism carries no such challenge. It offers enlightenment and spirituality... without the need to try and be obedient to God.

It is a completely self indulgent philosophy and puts self at the centre of spiritual development. It forgets that we are broken and incapable of pleasing God without the direct intervention of God.

Why do I think there's a threat that it may return?

In the past few decades, mankind has become endlessly fascinated with the intrigue and shadow play that surrounds conspiracy theory - the Moon landings, the Kennedy assassination, UFOs, secret world organisations and black operations... and this has spread naturally, to the history of the Church. The Church has not helped itself at all with it's previous worldly non biblical handling of heresy. Therefore with certain books and films egging them on... people have started to draw the conclusion that perhaps the heretics were telling the truth and the Church conspired to cover it up.

All of which is nonsense. A large part of the New Testament is aimed at countering the claims of these heresies... and two of the most prominent critics - Peter and John, knew Jesus first hand and were in his inner circle.

Why do I think it could be happening now?

My recent debates with people along the very lines of gnosticism have led me to conclude that there are at least some people propagating it... probably in schools and maybe even some churches!

Which brings me to my main point... definition.

A long time ago I wrote on this blog about the need to define yourself personally... lest other people do it for you.

It is absolutely plain to me that the same is true for what we believe. If we do not speak up for what we believe, then other people will fill the gaps and do it for us... people who do not have a proper understanding of what we believe, why we believe it or even who or what we really are... people who are indifferent or even opposed to the true Gospel message.

Even if you don't believe me on the issue of gnosticism, take a good long look at how the media presents Christianity it skews us into two groups - traditionalists and liberals. Is that what you are? Are you a liberal? Are you a traditionalist? Or are you something else?

Me? I'm a Christian... and I'm not going to settle for being something that somebody else tells me I am.

What I am is what God called me to be... and so are you if you'll only let him have you.

Blessings

N

Stirred

I'm acutely aware that I've been gone for a very long time.

I have found it hard to find the time to gather thoughts worthy of a post here... what with the various projects I've found myself entwined within, over the summer.

However something caught my attention today and although the hour is late and I don't have time to write anything about it now, this is my way of laying down a cornerstone. I fully intend to come back and talk about what is on my mind... and knowing that I'm leaving people hanging is my way of reminding myself I must do it.

So I'm dusting off my keyboard and oiling the gears and cogs in my brain. Expect me when you see me.

N

In Search of Ithaca

I recently took part in a personality quiz on Facebook entitled "Which Work of Literature are You?"

The result did not come as any surprise to me at all. My answers most closely associated my personality with The Odyssey by Homer:

Life is an epic journey. It exists only to challenge you, so that you might prove through overcoming incredible obstacles your worthiness to yourself, your loved ones, and your God(s). Trial and Tribulation is the name of the game, and you won't ever stop until you reach the promised land.

As I said, it didn't surprise me. It sums up how I often feel about things. It's the same reason why I've always (even since childhood) been drawn to stuff like Battlestar Galactica (both versions) and even why I'm more tolerant of Voyager than most Trek fans.

I really relate to tales where a major character is alienated or isolated from the people and dreams they hold dear... and is forced to fight insurmountable odds to achieve nothing more glorious than the right to get home.

Whether they wine and dine, fight their own personal battles against oppressive forces, or count their wealth and blessings in their vast treasure stores... the other kings and queens of Greece do so from the relative luxury of home and have plenty of contact with the other kings and queens...

I have fought their Trojans on many occasions... but when my trials come, many of them either cannot tell when I'm all at sea, are unable to do anything to assist... or simply do not care about my fate (except when it is intertwined with their own).

I'm still searching for Ithaca. Sometimes I make good progress, other days I end up in a right pickle... onwards I go nonetheless.

In my mind I have of late pictured myself as a tall ship sat on a windless ocean. I am sat waiting for a sudden gust or a gentle to send me off somewhere... anywhere but I have neither direction or power... I seem quite depleted of personal resolve.

Periodically I go through times when I tend to struggle with the reality of my circumstances... or should I say the reality of my lack of circumstances. At these times I look around me and reason that I am all alone... save for the company of God.

I truly believe these times are an attack against me... the enemy seems to disrupt me the most by isolating me from other Christians. He uses the perceived injustice of my position... and the emotional mistreatment/neglect of people I have known to cripple me and lay me low.

I once heard a man preach that our relationship with God is like a table on four legs - prayer, studying the word, worship and fellowship. Take one of those legs away and the table wobbles a bit... take two away and it gets ropey. The argument is that as the elements that make up a healthy relationship with Christ disappear from your life, the more unstable and rocky your faith becomes.

The first leg that always gets clobbered in my case is that of Fellowship.

I felt really despondent the other day, but there was a glimmer of light at the end of it.

I finished work feeling entirely fed up and exhausted....and wanted to o straight home and veg out. However I was very conscious of wanting to spend time with God and I knew if I headed home I'd either plonk myself in front of the computer or hit the sofa and shut myself off.

So I made a concerted effort to go to church.

As I drew near, I noticed that the door was open (unusual given it's rural location), yet nobody was there. Even though the truth is that it was probably merely left that way by the previous visitor, it nonetheless lifted my spirits and made me feel welcome. After a short time of prayer and bible study I headed home feeling somewhat better than I had that day.

As I made my way back down the path, thought back to the open door and I heard the reassuring words:

"My door is always open for you Nick."

So I'm still out there looking for my Ithaca... but I have the best ally in the universe to aid me in my voyage... and something tells me that the wind isn't that far away. The symbolism of the door being open,and the words put on my heart reminded me of a certain passage:

"To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."

Revelation 3:7-8

Labour Pains

As I write this entry, the trials and tribulations that have beset Gordon Brown's premiership, are mounting by the truckload.

I can't help thinking that Mr Brown's biggest problem by far, is his lack of charismatic authority. The hints were there right from the start... in an early Prime Minister's Questions session facing David Cameron... where he rather embarrassingly came to a grinding halt and sat down before properly answering the question put to him.

True, it was only a small thing... but you could easily argue that it was a microcosm of what has since transpired. I'm not against Mr Brown at all... I've always believed he's had a good agenda that was initially obscured by his predecessor's egomania and obsession with spin. Of course I've never really been a fan of Blair,but one thing you can argue... is that he had charisma in spades (but then it is not always a good quality). Following a man like that is always going to be difficult, it is even more the case if charisma does not come naturally.

I don't have a major problem with Mr Brown's big policy calls... nobody can doubt he's made some brave calls that other world leaders have responded to. My biggest problem is his inability to make the big leadership calls. He had a chance to validate his premiership right from the get go... he had the opportunity to call a somewhat risky general election which hindsight tells us he probably would have won. His response to the subsequent by-elections and local elections that Labour struggled in, was "We are listening and we will learn from this". This was churned out several times in succession and to my ears, it became a bit of a cliched mantra.

Then of course most recently, he finds ministers within his ranks who have played or abused the expenses system and chooses a long term strategy to deal with it. That is not how the real world deals with such matters. If something like that came up anywhere else, you would expect it to be dealt with immediacy. What was needed was not an independent inquiry riddled with red tape (that must follow only as a secondary measure), but a swift yet accurate self diagnosis of who was at fault followed by a case by case instant dismissal and by election.

People may still harbour anger, resentment and feelings of betrayal... but if they can at least see that you are taking genuinely hard steps to put your house in order, you are are likely to win their ears back.

If the stories are true, it would appear that Brown was not happy with Alastair Darling's performance as chancellor... and yet in the recent reshuffle, he backed off doing anything about it because Darling was rumoured to be digging his heels in and refusing to do any other job.

The tougher choice would have been to have called Darling out on that... put him somewhere you feel is better and see how he reacts. If he walks, he walks... but don't let one man's desire to retain a high profile job, rule how you feel the team should be structured.

I feel the only way for Gordon Brown to survive the oncoming storm, is to adapt his personality for the times ahead. He needs to be more bullish.

Should Labour go through with a plot to oust him, heaven help them... because I don't really see any pretenders to the throne. I don't get a strong sense of leadership from Alan Johnson or anyone else for that matter... and if someone should take the mantle from Brown, they are going to have justify the fact that they are the second successive Prime Minister to have not been directly elected.

If Brown goes... or is forced to take some kind of internal electoral action to secure his position, I honestly think a general election will have to be called. He needs to act before his own ministers adopt their own course of action that can only end in mutually assured destruction of Labour at the polls - Blairite or Brownite won't matter... their fate will be the same.

I'll be honest... I can't see any way that Labour is not going to be annihilated at the next general election- I believe that too much water has passed under the bridge. Now is not the time for fingers in the dame... now is the time for something spectacular.

An interesting week ahead of us I would say.

You Can't Please All Of The People...

... all of the time.

I've been gone along time again. Truth be known, I've been fairly exhausted in focusing my thoughts on other writing projects including preparation for my preaching efforts. Ive been feeling intellectually, spiritually and emotionally... somewhat drained.

But the hour is late (and I don't just mean that I'm typing in the midnight hour). A lot has happened recently in politics and it requires comment... so I had better at least try to weigh in with a semi decent effort.

Before exploring my motivation for writing this piece, lets look at the fundamental cause of the recent political troubles - the scandal over MP's expenses.

What has happened is simply disgusting. There is no other word that sums it up so succinctly.

Disgusting.

That so many of our parliamentary representatives have been caught red handed, angers the public deeply... and rightly so. I think deep down many people knew or at least suspected on some level, that this was going on...but just got on with their own lives... but it's now, when financial hardship begins to pinch that this issue is particularly sensitive (though I personally believe it should always be so). I think what has offended the public most deeply, is the fact that those who have been caught (to whatever extent), have actually tried to defend their position.

"I acted within the rules at the time" they cry. So what? They knew full well that the rules were wrong but they were content to ignore that little fact as they used the letter of the law to completely wallpaper over the spirit of the law.

The worst offenders have pledged to step down at the next election and have written cheques to pay back what they have stolen (for lets name the act for what it is).

Frankly this is not enough.

I don't agree with David Cameron's stance of using the outrageous crimes of his parliamentary brethren to get a general election (though it looks like events are conspiring to that effect anyway, irrespective of his appeals). It is not the time to make political capital out of this steaming mess (he knows his party is far likely to be less severely damaged by electoral disaffection).

However, I do believe that immediacy is needed. If it happened in any other workplace, the culprits would be on a charge of gross misconduct and out on their ear... and this should be no different.

I believe in every case where there is provable deliberate fraud, there should be a By Election... no matter how many seats that affects. Furthermore, as a gesture of goodwill, I believe the politicians should follow the biblical example of Zaccheus. He was the tiny taxman who defrauded his community out of their hard earned coinage. However, upon meeting Jesus... Zaccheus had a change of heart and offered not only to pay back what he taken... but to multiply it fourfold.

I'm sure if you suggested it to the MP's caught in scandal, they would be spitting their tea out at this suggestion... but here is my point. Giving back what they took, merely shows a grudging acknowledgement that they were caught red handed. It is not an act of contrition. True repentance requires that we go over and above what is expected of us on paper... we actually need to demonstrate a change of heart by what we choose to say and how we choose to act.

What is required for the main parties to regain some serious trust... is for someone to stand up and make some really tough calls... REALLY tough ones. Although Cameron has made a few steps along this road, none of the main party leaders have truly been active on this... or taken any risks. They promise reform but that takes time... and as the Bible teaches, you shouldn't put new wine in an old wineskin (or in this case "new rules in corrupt parliaments").

However, I wish to move on to my main point - tomorrows elections. There is a great fear and concern that the disaffection felt by so many over the sleaze allegations and expenses scandal will lead to the public abandoning the main parties and leaving several local and European seats ripe for picking by the hands of dangerous fringe parties such as the BNP

In fact, such is the concern that... last week the two leading ministers in the Anglican Church stepped forward and made a direct appeal against the BNP.

When I heard the joint statement issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury - Rowan Williams and the Archbishop of York - John Sentamu that decried the BNP, I was deeply impressed.

Yet unbelievably, there was a barrage of letters in the press complaining that the Church of England should not be telling people how they should vote.

Under ordinary circumstances, I would normally agree... but these are NOT ordinary circumstances and the British National Party is NOT a normal political party.

We are living in extraordinary times... politics is in a state of complete upheaval. The row over MP's expenses has broken wide open.

Lets not forget that following the Holocaust, Pope Pius XII was strongly criticised for not speaking out against the persecution of Jews... in fact he did apparently make some critical statements... and gestures, but his contribution is largely regarded as too little too late and mostly given when it became politically safe/convenient.

Whether you believe his actions were sufficient or not, my point is that people were critical of him for not acting in the face of such an oppressive destructive political beast as Nazism.

Yet now, people are criticising churchmen for doing the opposite. Are they insane? Do they not see the parallels? It is absolutely right that the Church stands up against the BNP, particularly when it is a known fact that the party is making insidious attempts to win over Christians who are (rightly) annoyed at the prospect of political correctness seemingly stifling public expression of belief.

The BNP even claim Christ is on their side:

What would Jesus do?

Are they serious?

Let me punch a fundamental hole in their argument...

Jesus Christ lived as a Jew in a nation occupied by a foreign invader, one which despite allowing Jewish culture to continue... made sure it's own cultural ideas were firmly imprinted upon the land. How did Jesus treat these foreigners... did he endorse the idea of insurrection against Rome?

No he didn't.

Jesus Christ even went as far as healing a Roman official's son.

However, we are talking persecution are we not? So how did Jesus react to persecution... did he throw his lot in with the Zealot guerrilla terrorists?

No.

Jesus allowed the Romans to mock him, beat him to a pulp, flog him and crucify him... and he still had the loving audacity to call upon his Father to forgive them.

Ultimately, Jesus does not make a good poster boy for the BNP... and neither should any of us who are Christians.

You see if Jesus and his apostles (following the ascension) had not accepted outsiders... the Christian Church would be nowhere near as significant in size as it is today. Peter would not have met Cornelius, and salvation would not have been known among the gentiles. Similarly Paul... if he had not immersed himself in the many cultures of the Roman Empire provinces, would not have been able to use his observations of their customs, in proclaiming the Gospel to them.

And let us not forget that in following Christ, we admit we are aliens and foreigners on this Earth... and our "nationalism" is in the final analysis, reserved for God's Kingdom.

However, I don't need to go into a long and drawn out theological diatribe as to why Christianity is not compatible with the BNP's "policies".

All I need is Christ's summaries of how we should treat others around us:

"Love your neighbour as yourself"

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Matthew 5:43-48

If you have been tempted to vote for the BNP... or even if a small part of your heart sympathises with them; I urge you to take a good look again at the scripture above and pray about it. Weigh your heart against God's Word and see if in all good conscience, your position is defensible?

I make no secret of my vehement opposition to the very existence of the BNP and I feel burdened to speak out against them because of my conviction that evil succeeds when good men fail to act.

May God bless you all

N

Til We Have Built Jerusalem...

Happy St. George's Day everyone.

It's tradition on this day to sing/play Parry's Jerusalem in cathedrals and churches upon this day. In researching this post, I discovered that some clergy object because they don't class it as a hymn. For me personally, it is a song of hope... a recollection of what God is capable of, who he is... and a genuine desire to see his glory among his people here in the British Isles, as it was seen in ancient days among his people Israel (although in truth, we have God's promise to dwell within each of our hearts... which is even more amazing and humbling than following his Shekinah glory cloud around).

I also feel that Jerusalem is a pledge, a commitment to put your heart into the trim (slight nod to Shakespeare there... but it is his birthday too), to be prepared to steel yourself and do whatever it takes to envisage the dream of Jerusalem and manifest it as reality.

However, I'm quite aware that the song isn't just claimed by Christians... indeed the tune is so popular it has often been described as England's national anthem in waiting. In fact, King George V actually preferred it to God Save the King.

It has a place in the heart of so many people up and down the land... as can be seen at the climax of the Proms concerts:

During my time in Israel, I learned of various ways in which the city of Jerusalem was figuratively identified in theology.

In the time of the priest-king Melchizedek (Jerusalem's first appearance known at the time as Salem), it represented a city of hope... a place of promise for future generations.

In King David's time, it was a city of strength... a mighty fortress unassailable by it's opponents.

In the early part of Solomon's reign, Jerusalem took on the form of a queenly city... as God's relationship with his people in the old covenant, reached it's zenith. The Temple was built and the glory cloud came and resided at the heart of the city as it's people worshipped the living God.

However, it wasn't long before the crown slipped...

During the second half of his reign, Solomon fell into all the traps that God said would begin to lead his people astray... and it is during this period that the city was viewed as a prostitute city... as God's people lay down with other "gods" and erected altars above the city on the Mount of Olives.

Eventually God called his people to account and the city became a widow city, as the glory of the Lord departed and the city was destroyed... it's people being carried off into exile.

When the exile was over and Israelites returned to rebuild and occupy the city, it became a shadow city. The oldest generations who remembered the glory of the old Jerusalem, wept openly to see a lesser city built in it's place.

During the New Testament era, Christian scholars perceived Jerusalem as the rejecting city, due to the fact that the generation in the time of Christ failed to recognize Jesus as the promised Messiah.

Following that, the city fell once more... and was seen as the rejected city.

Eventually in the time of Hadrian the city was completely ploughed into the ground and rebuilt as Aelia Capitolina... a city dedicated to pagan worship and which, due to the fierce (and understandable) Judaean insurrection... was out of bounds to all Jews.

Ahead in time, we have the hope of the future city... the New Jerusalem, a place where God will dwell with his people more intimately than ever... where he will wipe away every tear in the home of eternal celebration.

So why the history lesson?

It's quite simple really... on this day as we remember the past glories of our nation and we celebrate the idea of building Jerusalem in England's green and pleasant land... the question we have to ask ourselves is what kind of Jerusalem are we building?

Are we building...

A city of hope - a place that puts it's trust in God to bring about a brighter future?

A city of strength - a place that trusts in God for it's protection and deliverance?

A queenly city - a place that has pledged it's heart to God and is living completely in the blessing that comes through a relationship with God?

Or are we in fact building...

A city that prostitutes itself - place that follows after strange gods, that looks to finance and materialism as it's ultimate saviour, or one that puts celebrities in a pantheon and ignores the tender voice of it's faithful, loving God?

A widowed city - a place that has become so detached from God, that it is called to account and sent into the desolate sands of the wilderness until it realises just what it has lost?

A shadow city - a place that remembers the things of God as little more than a memory and lives with a cultural religion... but not really a living faith?

A rejecting city - a place that doesn't love it's neighbours as itself... a place that doesn't recognise Jesus in others and willingly neglects, persecutes or abuses him by proxy in it's attitudes to others (on this national day, with regard to this point I especially think of disgusting groups such as the BNP)?

A rejected city - a place that is handed over to it's ways and abandoned to it's own doom?

A pagan city - a place that forgets it's identity in God and becomes a place of unrest, in-fighting and destruction?

Or is it the city that it should be? The city that is being built on the foundation that Christ lay down, by his death and resurrection - the New Jerusalem.

It's something I think we should think on if we are serious about singing that song a little more often than just at Rugby matches or other sporting events, or the Proms.

Have a blessed St. George's Day and may the city he is building in your heart continue to grow to his glory.

Christian Blogging Redux

Some time ago, I read an entry on a blog that debated the merits of whether all Christians should blog... or just those who are proficient in theology and/or debating skills.

The conclusion that was reached favoured the latter view.

At the time, I remained silent but it has always niggled me because this is the very antithesis of my position.

I do not believe in elitism. I accept that there are risks with every Tom, Dick and Harry writing about their faith... there are bound to be errors of judgement in theology and composition, because we are all on a journey.

I can't accept or sanction the idea that evangelism and spiritual encouragement are only the remit of a select few (many as the people within that "few" are). The apostle Paul encountered many charlatans, heretics and people who were preaching the Gospel for a mixture of motives. Whilst he fought diligently against deliberate heresy, when his enemies preached the Gospel, he did not oppose them... in fact, he actually recorded his attitude towards such people in his letter to the Philippians:

"It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defence of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."

Philippians 1:15-18

Essentially, Paul didn't care who preached the Gospel... so long as it was preached. In more recent generations, someone coined a famous saying:

"We are not all called to be evangelists, but we are all called to evangelise."

So while many may not be educated strongly in theology or even well rehearsed in scripture, if they have even a basic relationship with God through Christ, they have the knowledge of Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection... and why it was necessary for the salvation of mankind. This is central to the gospel message.

Furthermore, Paul (greatly informed apologist that he was), did not regard eloquence and intellect to be of the utmost importance when it came to his own message:

"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

Some of the greatest preachers and apologists the Christian faith ever had... began their journeys hearing the words of some obscure man or woman of faith and being inspired by them. I think we would be fools to limit the field. People connect on all sorts of levels. A man of great wisdom and intellect... even a spiritual man, might totally miss the mark where gentle words of innocence might succeed. Every one of us is unique, we each bear a personal testimony that is not shared by another... who knows what part of our own individual stories might be used by the power of God, in order to inspire the lives of others. Or have you not read the Parable of the Mustard Seed?

I think people are being way too analytical and are injecting human management styles into what is essentially God's work. We are called to sow... we cannot know where the seed falls in the hearts of the people we speak to, we can only be faithful in sharing what we have. Evangelism is merely one beggar telling another beggar where he may find bread... and living bread at that.

To try and control who speaks for God on the Internet, is to put human rules and regulation in the way of the Gospel. My own personal attitude is to fling wide the gates... let all who know Jesus speak of him... and if I do come across anything that is at odds with the Gospel message in my own meanderings on the web... to gently point this out where necessary.

So for those who have been encouraged to abandon their keyboard, I equally encourage you to take it back up again. Your walk with Jesus is unique to you, and you do not know whose heart you may set on fire, simply by sharing it.

Promised Land

It's been nearly a month since my return from Israel... and I'm still reflecting over many of the things I experienced while I was out there.

One thing that strikes me particularly at the moment, is the number of different names we have for the area - Israel, Palestine, Canaan, The Promised Land, The Holy Land...

Of all these, the one that resonates most powerfully with me is The Promised Land. It is a name that holds reassurance for the wanderer, the one who has eked out an existence in the desert whilst every other dog has seemingly repeatedly had his day. It is a name that holds hope for the future.

One thing that has played a lot on my mind since I've got back, are the events described in the book of Numbers, chapters 13 and 14:

After their God engineered miraculous escape from Egypt, the Israelites had been wandering the Sinai Peninsula and had reached a place called Kadesh in the desert of Paran. God commanded Moses to despatch a leader from each of the 12 tribes, to carry out a covert operation in the land.

40 days later, the band of spies return successfully, bearing the mother of all fruit baskets from their little adventure.

The good news - "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit."

The not so good news - "But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan."

All around the camp came the loud murmur of a nation grumbling at the prospect of entering such a land... they were a real "glass half empty" lot.

In response to this, Caleb then pipes up "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."

But the Israelites weren't having that... as quick as a flash, all the other spies with the exception of Joshua suddenly embellish the story and transform the inhabitants of Canaan into superhuman warriors (the Nephilim they refer to had such a reputation); they came up with the following cop outs...

"We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are."

"The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Isn't it amazing? How quick we are to forget God's promises... and how easily we forget his deeds for our own convenience?

They should have known better... not long before these events, the whole nation had witnessed God work through Moses - turning the sea to dry land and sweeping away the armies of Pharaoh as those waters returned to their rightful place.

The same God who performed such a feat... and who had led them safe through the desert thus far, was now calling them into the receipt of his divine promise. Would he really have done that if he wasn't prepared to back them up as had previously done?

Let's not be too harsh on Israel. We can be exactly the same... in fact for most of my adult life... yes even my Christian life, I have been. I have committed the sin of choosing safety over promises... and I have missed out. That's one major reason why I went to Israel. I didn't want to be subject to the naysaying of my own doubting heart. I didn't want to be ruled by fear... dread cannot be our sovereign, God must be.

Even now though,I am acutely aware that heading to Israel is actually only the first step... it is the equivalent of heading into the promised land to spy if the risk is worth it.

The challenge for me now is the same as it was for the Israelites. Now that I have seen that taking a risk with God does indeed yield rewards... am I prepared to continue along that path? Or shall I pass it off as a silly flirtation with adventure... and return back to the spiritual desert for another generation?

The thing is... and I can't recall what television programme I heard this sentiment expressed on recently - when one of your dreams comes true... you begin to take the other ones a little more seriously.

The things I hope for, I am now entrusting to God a lot less reluctantly than before. I choose to go forward... because it's new and because the land ahead is good. Yes there will be troubles, trials and struggles... but they will be new ones, not the same old tired ones that have dragged me down into despair and lethargy in the past. Furthermore, pressing on ahead... unknown as that journey may as yet be, is the path God wishes me to walk... and remaining in step with him, I can be assured of having him right there beside me.

I think the main point I want to make... the one that is as much for you as it is for me, is that we have to question the counsel we heed when we are presented with a new and potentially difficult venture on our journey in Christ.

Are we listening to the voices of suspicion, doubt an despair that say it cannot be done... or are we listening to the different spirit that God has put inside our hearts that says "do not be afraid" and "this is the way, walk in it." That different spirit is the Holy Spirit who doesn't just influence us to make the right decisions as in days of old... but instead dwells within us and changes us into the people who can walk in God's ways.

Caleb and Joshua had that different spirit... and so it was that one generation later, when all their contemporaries had passed away in the wilderness... it was they that spearheaded the campaign to claim what God had promised them.

So when the loud clamour of noise tells you that only doom and failure lies ahead, always remember that if God has promised something... it is he who will enable you to attain that promise. Have faith, keep on believing... and you will see God's wonders.

Evans Above!

Just a brief interlude in the proceedings to say a hearty well done to Good Evans, who featured on Britain's Got Talent earlier tonight.

I don't normally watch the show but the father - Giles, used to go to the same Fellowship group as me (although he was well established when I had just started), and so it's only fair that I show a bit of support and solidarity for him and his posse by plugging them a little here. So this is them in action on the show:

They were certainly a welcome relief after some crazy witch Grotbags wannabe came on and cursed the panel.

So well done Giles & Co... keep up the work as long as you can!

A Different Vigil

As you may or may not know, on Maundy Thursday, I have in recent years had a tradition of visiting the church in my home town and sitting there in prayer for about an hour or so.

I do this in gratitude for what I believe Jesus did for me, because I like to try and give a little bit back. Knowing that he had nobody with him 2,000 years ago as he knelt and prayed with the weight of destiny and the knowledge of what he must suffer on his shoulders; I can't help but feel a sadness that his best friends couldn't keep their eyes open just for a while. So with this very much in mind and knowing that God is eternal, I go... to pray for Jesus in Gethsemane in the time leading up to his arrest, even though I know what happened. It's not that I think I'm anything fantastic, I do it completely as a response to what he first did for me.

However, having been to Israel and sat upon the Mount of Olives... I am now acutely aware that churches are perhaps not the best place to do this. Jesus did not go to the temple. Jesus went to the hill that looked across to his city, and watched over it as he prayed.I wanted to connect to that notion a little better. So last night, I changed old habits. I very nearly didn't, if the weather had been inclement... I would have abandoned the notion.

At about midnight, I took a torch and backpack and headed out to Primrose Hill. As you may know from previous Easter entries, this is the hill that every year blooms with a 30ft daffodil cross.... and this year is no exception (although the daffodils have bloomed even earlier and are know dying... and their number was somewhat diminished due to people sledging in winter).

I gingerly hopped across the A46 dual carriageway as Royal Mail lorries thundered past me deep into the night. Making my way along a bridle path, I eventually found the field that led to the hill. As I was now pretty much off the beaten track, I was quite anxious. Despite the presence of the moon, it was quite hard to make out entirely where I was going. I didn't know what critters were out there and my deepest concern was being discovered by some shotgun wielding angry farmer demanding to know my business at midnight... there was the loud sound of a gate rattling, it sounded as if someone had discovered me... but nothing came of it.

So it was that I found myself sitting above the crossbeam of the daffodil cross, illuminated only by the moon's pale light... and looking down upon the streetlights of the sleeping town of Alcester.

It was a moving experience. I really didn't feel alone. I had a great sense of God's presence as I prayed over the town... and for the historical event I was commemorating. I think it was more poignant and relevant for me to be able to do it this way. I eventually left the hill at 1am and made my way back into town. I did stop off and spend some time in the church, but being out there on the hill, really gave me a deeper appreciation and sense of "being there".

Having said that, being on a hill in the middle of nowhere is a little intimidating... especially when you aren't sure you should be there.

I am of a mind to do this again next year... but I'm seriously thinking of gathering a few brave souls to join me.... simply because I feel more could be done with a few more people.

Sorry I've been absent, had a few things on my mind lately... and for those of you who have access to the Inner Sanctum part of my blog, I may expand more a little on said things.

I have had a blog brewing for some time and I hope to post it very soon, however until that time... have an incredibly blessed Easter. Whatever you do with your time, I pray the peace of Christ that was won for us at great cost on that first Good Friday will fill your hearts and minds.

Different

Well I made it back.

But before I post anything about my experiences in the Promised Land, I thought I'd like to share with you the effect my miniature odyssey has had on me.

I feel like my procrastination levels have dropped significantly. Yes I think about things, but in several key circumstances recently I have found myself acting on my thoughts within a relatively short space of time. I don't seem to be afraid of my choices any more. I accept that some of those choices are not always going to pay off how I might like... but I'm not as scared of making those decisions as once I might have been.

What is more I seem more resilient to things that normally would have bothered me no end. Someone said something to me recently which normally would have speared me clean through and left me moping for ages... but I found that while I was initially hurt by the words, in hours they bounced off. I was bruised but not broken by it. I was kind of thinking... "Huh? This isn't supposed to happen!"

I think too much good has happened for me to risk casting it all aside over any one thing.

I set out for Israel in the hope of achieving three personal objectives. All three of those were met by the grace of God.

I flew, there and back again.

I swam in En Gedi and the Dead Sea (if you are a casual reader you are thinking "so what". However, if you know me, you know the reasons why I had hang ups on that front).

I met several Palestinian Christians.

How those things played out are tales in themselves... but the first two were utterly crucial steps in claiming back ground in my heart of hearts... and I simply could not have done it without the grace of God. However, in doing those very things I find myself changed and changed for the better.

The rules of the game have been favourably altered.

Remember an old passage I quoted in a time of sadness?

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Proverbs 13:12

Well...in the past couple of days I've found myself coming back to a passage that was mentioned quite early on in our studies in Israel:

"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints."

Psalm 52:8-9

Perhaps some very important longings (longings I may not have been entirely aware of), have been fulfilled. And with that fulfilment there is perhaps the promise of a new period of personal growth.

I remember very clearly the day I dived into the waters of En Gedi. I remember it especially because earlier that day I had nearly collapsed with heat stroke on the barren slopes of Masada. I somehow made it to the bottom and kept myself going... but it was not until En Gedi that I was restored to a better condition.

That event was a microcosm for so much in my life. Trying to climb down from a desolate fortress in the beating rays of the midday sun, and then discovering that in order to be restored, I needed to commit myself to do doing something I feared and let God have me in a situation I did not wish to consciously go. Plunging into those icy waters was not just restoring to my body but restoring to my soul... something I feel the whole holiday experience has been about. I am determined to see that the lessons and experiences I have taken from my trip, are not lost from memory or time.

But I have a question to ask of you.

Are you on Masada or in the springs of En Gedi? Are you stranded on a mountain and failing fast, or have you learned that there is an answer to your weariness and burdens... albeit a difficult answer that requires you to face something you fear or are uncomfortable with? Sometimes you have to face your Masada's before you can finally be in a place to find the refreshing spring.

But please take it from someone who knows. As awkward, troubling and challenging as that journey may seem to you... you should take it, because restoration is at hand for the one who is willing to surrender to God instead of striving through their sorrows.

May God bless you, grant you courage and above all... restore your soul.

Fulfillment?

This time tomorrow I shall not be in the UK.

That's quite a daunting prospect for me... afraid as I am of the whole idea of flying.

However, as I prepare to head out into the skies above Europe, one thought occupies my mind. It is the memory of a vision I had many years ago whilst praying. I've shared it here before, but I have special reason for raising it again now.

In my vision, I saw an eagle hovering over a cliff top and stripping the nest of it's young.

I felt very strongly that God was saying to me, that this was his desire for me - that he was going to take away the things that forced me to stay on the ledge, he was calling me to fly with him. This image remained with me and was bolstered by a two friends independently telling me the same story (but crucially ending it differently).

The story concerned a man who had stolen an eagle's egg and had taken it home to his farm to hatch it among his chickens.

As the eagle grows, it pecks the dirt along with the chickens it has lived among. Then one day, as it reaches adulthood; a great eagle flies over the farm. Looking up, the eagle asks his chicken "siblings" what it is. They tell him that it is an eagle and that it belongs to the sky... but they are chickens and they belong to the ground.

Sadly in one version, the eagle takes heed of the chickens... and lives out it's days believing it was nothing more.

Crucially though, I also heard a version where the eagle listens to an unheard voice... a deeper call. It beats it's wings, takes to the sky and lets the thermals take it up to be with it's own kind.

My fears and anxieties would have me peck in the dirt till the end of my days. The people who have pegged me in a certain light, would have me remain in the mould they have cast for me. Since I booked my holiday last year, a lot of things have been happening to try and discourage me... the political unrest flaring up in Gaza... the increase in the number of planes dropping out of the sky.

This is me saying no to it all. This is me saying, I've got to trust that voice within - the one who calls me from the cliff side... trust him no matter what happens and no matter where he takes me. This is me breaking through the latex barrier that protects me and yet prevents me from exposing myself to situations where I can potentially thrive.

And as I take to the skies literally, in a very real sense my actions will be heralding a far more important flight somewhere deep within my soul.

A passage for you as I leave. Please ignore the fact that it is sometimes regarded as a
cliché, it is not. It certainly is not for me in my current context:

"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

Jesus also said that he who wants to save his life will lose it, but he who is prepared to lose it for him, will live. We often tend to regard that saying as to the physical concept of life and death. I'm not sure that's the only way it should be seen though. Jesus also told the parable of the talents. That's a tale where a man loses everything because he's not prepared to risk what he's been given. Now I'm not advocating gambling here. I'm talking about the willingness to invest in things God tells you to invest in, even though you don't see a potential harvest. That's the kind of living sacrifice I talk about. If we aren't prepared to take those risks, then I truly believe that parts of us begin to die.

As Captain Kirk once said: "risk is part of the game if you want to sit in that chair."

In fact I'll play you out with the theme song from the much maligned Star Trek series, Enterprise... because it encapsulates a lot of what I am speaking about.

May God bless you until my return.